Installing a husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall
system performance -- particularly in the flower and
jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs
4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning
2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

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Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an
Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
Operating System. Please enter the command: 'I
Thought You Loved Me.exe' and try to download Tears
6.2 and don't  forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.   Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will
eventually seize control of all your system
resources)

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
program. These are unsupported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and
performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie
7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support